Videos
Reflections for the days when grief is heavy
Reflections, guided practices and short answers to the questions people ask me most about grief. Watch when you have a quiet moment. There is no right way to do this.
Your gentle message for today · 3 minutes
Lay down the burden
Some exhaustion doesn’t come from what happened. It comes from the endless work of trying to understand it.
This reflection is an invitation to put that work down. You don’t have to excuse anyone or pretend it was acceptable. You just stop letting it run your life.
You can be morally clear without remaining emotionally bound to the wrongdoing of others.
Read the full message
“You are being invited to lay down the burden of making sense of everyone who has hurt you. Your soul is asking you to return to the sacred responsibility of loving the life that is still yours.”
Beloved soul,
There is a kind of exhaustion that comes not simply from what has happened to us, but from the endless labour of trying to understand it.
Why did they not love more generously?
Why did they not protect what was precious?
Why did they not recognise what was being lost?
Why was so much left for you to carry?
These are deeply human questions. But there comes a moment when searching for answers begins to consume the very life you are trying to recover.
Today, imagine a great, gentle light gathering around you. Not a light that erases injustice. Not one that asks you to pretend everything was acceptable. A light that illuminates a different truth:
You can be morally clear without remaining emotionally bound to the wrongdoing of others. You do not need to carry bitterness as proof that you remember. You do not need to continue suffering to demonstrate the depth of what happened. You can put down the weight without declaring the past innocent.
This is the distinction I want you to contemplate today.
Your integrity belongs to you. Other people’s choices belong to them. And your healing may begin when you stop asking your heart to serve as the courtroom in which their actions are endlessly tried.
Guided meditation · 4 minutes
Held
When we are grieving, or simply running on empty, we often keep going in busy mode. We hold everything together and forget that we need holding too.
This short guided practice helps you pause, settle into your body and feel supported, without asking anything of you. You don’t need any experience. Find somewhere quiet to sit and let yourself be held for a few minutes.
Come back to it whenever you need to: first thing in the morning, in a difficult moment, or at the end of a long day.
The Anchored Letter, read aloud · 10 minutes
Why courage isn’t enough
We’re often told courage is the answer: feel the fear and do it anyway, push through, be resilient. But courage spends us.
In this letter I explore why the opposite of fear is not courage but love, and how we find our way back to it.
The Anchored Letter comes out every Wednesday. Read it free on Substack.
Coming soonA reflection on grief · 10 minutes
Grief has seasons. So do you.
In nature, winter isn’t a failure. Animals slow down and everything draws in to protect what matters.
Grief works in a similar way. There are times to withdraw, rest and keep warm, and slowly you learn that support can come to you. This one is for anyone who feels they should be further along by now.
Short videos · under a minute
Questions people ask me about grief
If you’d like more support
You don’t have to carry this alone
Join a Grief Circle in West London. It’s an hour of company with people who understand. It isn’t therapy and nobody tries to fix you.
If you’d like one-to-one support, speak to Dr Chloe. Or read The Loss Prescription, and The Anchored Letter every Wednesday.