What is trauma?
Psychological trauma is the lasting impact of an event, or a series of events, that overwhelmed our ability to cope and left us feeling unsafe in the world, in our bodies or in our relationships. What makes something traumatic is not only what happened, but how it was experienced and whether we were supported afterwards.
Trauma can follow a single shocking event, such as an accident, an assault, or a sudden or violent death. It can also build over time, through repeated harm such as an abusive relationship, childhood neglect, medical trauma, or working again and again with other people’s suffering.
What is traumatic loss?
Traumatic loss is a bereavement or loss that happens in sudden, violent or shocking circumstances, such as an accident, suicide, homicide, overdose, disaster, or a death that felt preventable. Grief and trauma become entangled. The mind keeps returning to how the person died, which can make it hard to grieve who they were. You can read more about traumatic grief.
How trauma can show up
- Intrusive memories, flashbacks or nightmares
- Being on high alert, startling easily, unable to rest
- Numbness, or feeling detached from yourself and others
- Avoiding reminders, places or people
- Guilt, shame or “if only” thinking
- Exhaustion, pain in the body, disrupted sleep
- Feeling you are no longer the person you were
These are understandable responses to something that overwhelmed you. They are not signs that you are weak or broken.
We are not broken. We are fragmented. And what is fragmented can be gathered back.
How we work with trauma
Therapy at The Grief Clinic begins with safety and steadiness, at your pace. Dr Chloe Paidoussis-Mitchell is a Chartered Counselling Psychologist, a trained trauma debriefer and a published specialist in traumatic bereavement and post-traumatic growth, with work published by Routledge and PCCS Books.
Therapy draws on existential psychology, trauma science, attachment and compassion-focused approaches, and attends to the body as much as the mind. Where a specific treatment such as trauma-focused CBT or EMDR is indicated, we will discuss this openly and help you find it.
The aim is not to erase what happened. It is to help you call yourself into presence: to feel safe enough in yourself to live, relate and find meaning again. Research on post-traumatic growth shows that, in time, people can grow in the aftermath of trauma. Not because what happened was good, but because of how they find their way back to themselves.
Getting help now
The Grief Clinic is not an emergency service. If you are in immediate danger or thinking about ending your life, call 999, go to A&E, or contact Samaritans free on 116 123, any time of day or night.
By Dr Chloe Paidoussis-Mitchell, Chartered Counselling Psychologist (DCPsych, CPsychol, AFBPsS), founder of The Grief Clinic London and author of The Loss Prescription (HarperCollins).